


All of Me.

by Undercovercreative



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23091664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undercovercreative/pseuds/Undercovercreative
Summary: When Levi finally hits his breaking point and ends things with Nico, this is the story of the aftermath and how they find their way back together.
Relationships: Nico Kim & Levi Schmitt, Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	All of Me.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic that I've published. The writers aren't giving us what we want so I thought I'd give it a go. :)

He wasn’t sure how he got here…. sitting on the bench outside the hospital, just feet away from where Levi, his Levi, told him he loved him for the first time. Now he was sitting here watching him walk away with another man, a fireman at that, a fireman that most would say was good-looking… but Nico wouldn’t. Thats not his type. If someone were to ask him his type for so long he would have said, “smaller, nerdy guys”. It was easy to feel good about yourself when you were far physically superior, but now his type was more specific and he couldn’t help it if it basically read like a description of a certain person. Turns out Nico’s type could be summed up into two words… Levi Schmitt.

Thank God they hadn’t seen him. They were engaged in conversation with one another, Travis and Levi, talking and laughing and Nico got his answer. He had just wanted to talk. Even if it didn’t change anything Levi was still his best friend and he wanted to talk but sometimes after you break up your best friend isn’t there to listen anymore.

Truth is he had felt the end coming for a while. It didn’t mean he couldn’t try to hold on for as long as he could. He grew so much throughout his relationship with Levi. He had never shared that much of himself with someone. So much, but it still wasn’t enough. When you aren’t taught to let people in growing up, it doesn’t come naturally. Turns out Nico had hit his hard limit, opening up about his parents.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The night that Levi ended it Nico went numb. But somehow through the numb fog he had clarity, There was only one way to live now that he lost the love of his life. He packed a bag and got ready to go. He sent one text before turning off his phone.

I have to do something. Won’t be gone longer than a week. I’ll explain then. I’m sorry and thank you.

Link was completely understanding about it. Nico had been working overtime the last few weeks as Link dealt with his own shit and it was his turn to return the favor.

Nico got in the car and he just sat there. He felt like he couldn’t breathe without Levi. After opening all the windows and trying to catch his breath, he put the car in drive and he drove and drove and after 13 hours he was sitting outside his parents silicon valley home. He didn’t even stop to think about whether he really wanted to do this, he just knew he needed to. The only thing he knew he needed to do before he blew up the world as he knew it was warn his sister. She didn’t deserve to be blindsided. The phone rang only once before her cheerful voice was on the other end of the line.

Nico’s Sister, Tara: Hi Big Brother! Is everything okay!? You never call me in the middle of the week like this! Something too important between our Sunday night chat?

Nico: Hey you. I just wanted to give you a heads up. Levi finally left me. He’s gone and I’m outside Mom and Dad’s. I know I told you I would never do this but I can’t breathe, Tar. I haven’t been able to breathe for over 30 years and the only person besides you who made me feel safe just told me he feels like he doesn’t even know who I am. I have to do this, for me.

Tara: Oh Nico….. I am so proud of you.

Nico: What did you say?

Tara: Nico, I’ve watched you grow into a shell of a man over the course of my whole life. The only time I ever see the real you is when you and I are alone and laughing and away from Mom and Dad… or when you are talking to me about Levi. You need to do this and you need to know that I love you and support you no matter what. Yes, you’re a doctor but this is the strongest and most courageous thing you will ever do and I have never been more proud.

Nico: I don’t deserve you.

Tara: The feeling is very mutual big brother. Just come here after. I love you.

Nico walked in the front door and everything was exactly where it was supposed to be. His dad was sitting at the kitchen table and his mom was finishing plating their lunch as she did every day at this time.

“Nico!” she gasped as she turned around “What are you doing here?”

Nico: I need to talk to you both.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The silence was deafening. He sat in his car frozen and then his phone beeped with an incoming text from the one person he wanted to talk to…. 

Link told me you took some time off. I’m worried about you.

Then not even a minute later:

I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me, Nico.

The flood gates opened. Nico sat in the car and sobbed, sobbed harder than he has ever cried in his whole life and then the craziest thing happened. He took a deep breath and realized he could breathe. Fully deep breaths. There was nothing holding him back. Yes, he was still heartbroken that he didn’t have Levi but there were no secrets. His parents knew everything. They knew that he was gay. They knew that he had fallen in love with a man and there was nothing they could do about it. Nico smiled through his tears put the car in drive and drove to Tara’s apartment. He needed a shower and some sleep before he began his journey home, his journey home to Levi.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Levi hadn’t known what to say. His heart was so fully still in love with Nico but he couldn’t stay with him because Levi couldn’t settle. His Uncle settled. Settled for a life that wasn’t fully authentically him and Levi couldn’t live like that. You know who also couldn’t live like that? Travis. Travis was the best guy Levi had met in a while and he wasn’t bad to look at either. He had run into him a couple times around the hospital and at Joe’s but not until last night when he ran into him and Ben, who proceeded to very obviously make it known that he thinks they would make a good pair, had he actually let the idea of him run through his mind. And so, at the end of the night when Travis so smoothly asked for his number, he gave it to him. And later while laying on the couch, next to a squealing Taryn Helm, he responded yes to a simple proposition via text. One drink. Tomorrow night. Taking it slow and seeing where it takes them.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The date was going well. Travis was so easy to talk to and he didn’t just listen. He talked, he opened up, he told Levi about himself, he was already doing everything Nico couldn’t, but that’s just it, he wasn’t Nico and Levi just couldn’t stop thinking about that… or talking about it.

Then, Levi went up to get another round…

Bartender: Hey Schmitt, how’s your night going? Another round?

Before Levi could respond…

Tara: Wait Schmitt like Levi Schmitt?

Levi: Uh yes actually and you are…?

Tara: I’m Tara, Nico’s sister

Levi: Oh… hi! It’s really nice to meet you! [oh my god, was this really happening?]

Tara: You’re exactly like he described you [she said kind of giggling in disbelief]

Levi: Nico? Wait. You know about me?

Tara: Know about you? He hasn’t shut up for over a year. Hell, the first day he met you I remember the call I got… his first day on the job and he was so distracted, I had never heard him talk about anything besides surgery after work, boy has a one track mind… then he met you.

Levi: I think I need to sit down…

Tara: I’m so sorry. I completely ambushed you.

Levi: It’s okay, I actually can’t tell you how happy I am to meet someone from Nico’s family. How have you lived close by this whole time and I am just now meeting you? If you knew about me…

Tara: I actually don’t live near by….

Levi: Oh! You’re visiting? Thats why Nico hasn’t been at work! Here I am in my own little universe thinking that me calling things off had messed him up enough for him to take time away from the hospital. Wow! Check your ego Levi!

Tara: Don’t sell yourself short Levi, you’re closer to the mark than you know…

Levi: What do you mean? Where is Nico anyway? Why isn’t he with you?

*Tara’s phone lights up with two texts from Nico*

I’m too late. He’s out with someone else. I lost him Tar. The love of my life. He’s gone.

Tara turned around and saw for the first time that Levi was here with someone… on a date.

Stay out and enjoy yourself. I think I need to be alone. I’ll leave the key under the mat. See you in the morning.

Tara gently put her hand on her chest. She could tell how broken he was.

Tara: I need to go. It was nice to meet you, Levi.

Levi: Wait. Was that Nico? Is he okay?

[Tara stopped and thought to herself, should she answer this as a respectable sister who listens to her brothers wishes or as someone who knows she can help he brother find his forever person and true happiness? ]

Tara: He’s actually not okay. After you ended things two nights ago he was broken. He got in the car and drove 13 hours to my parents house where he walked in the front door, sat down and told them everything he has been holding back for over 30 years. And then when they responded the exact way we would have guessed, he still felt overwhelming relief. There was one person he wanted to tell… you. I was worried about him making the drive again on only a few hours of sleep on my couch so I called in my saved up vacation days to work and got in the car with him. We hadn’t even been to his apartment yet when he pulled up outside the hospital. I parked the car and came here while he waited for you… I don’t think seeing a hot firefighter pick you up for a date at the door you first exchanged ‘ I love you’ at was quite what he had in mind….

Levi felt like he had been hit by a buss. Like all the air in his whole body had been knocked out of him.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nico heard the door to his bedroom open and he stayed facing the wall.

Nico: Tara, I know you’re trying to help but I just need a night to cry and feel bad for myself. It’s all my fault and he’s gone and I just need a night to lay in this bed and think about the fact that he should be lying next to me but he’s not and he’s not going to be again and I…

As Nico’s tears started to stream down his cheeks again, he heard his favorite sound in the whole world. Levi’s voice saying his name. But this time it was the quietest and saddest. “Nico” that he had ever heard.

Nico sprang out of bed.

Nico: What are you doing here? Why are you here? You are supposed to be on a date. I’m not holding you back anymore Levi just go…

Before Levi could say anything Nico walked into the living room, opened the door and waited for Levi to walk out of his life again.. and then he saw Tara sitting on the couch next to Travis. He looked back and forth between them and then to Levi with a look of utter confusion.

Tara: I ran into these two at Joe’s. Turns out you and Levi have a lot to catch up on and see the thing is Travis here just told me about his friend Miller who has been stranded by his baby momma with a new baby, and you know how much I love those. So my new friend Travis and I are going to go pick up some beer and help Miller out for the night. A baby, two hot firemen, beer and a houseboat, kinda sounds like heaven to me, maybe I could used to this whole Seattle thing…

Nico didn’t even know what to say as the two of them giggled and got up she kissed Nico on the cheek and proceeded to whisper “He is everything you told me and more and if you let him leave again I will be so mad at you for not making him my future brother”. Out of the side of Nico’s eye he saw Travis hug Levi and whisper something in his ear that made them both smile. Then they left and it was just quiet.

Nico: I don’t know what to say.

Levi: Nico…. just talk to me.

*They sat down on the couch facing each other*

Nico: Talk to you? You want me to talk?…. okay here it goes. [deep breath, it’s now or never he told himself.] You are the greatest love of my life Levi. I thought it was surgery, I thought it was being the best but it’s not. It’s you. Since the moment I met you. My entire life I’ve felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like I couldn’t relax and just be myself… but then I met you. You made me feel like I could run away from that life and find that peace with you, in an on call room, in your basement, in my apartment when we would shut the world out and it was just us two, anywhere with you. But after yesterday its all around me. I feel like I’m free but the problem is now something is still not right. Nothing can be right without you, Levi. Nothing. I want you to have all of me, then things will be right.

[Nico looked into Levi’s tear filled eyes]

Levi: Nico, I—

Nico: Wait no, let me finish this. I need to get this all out, all of it because if I don’t I’ll never forgive myself and I want you to have all of me, Levi. Seeing your uncle pass away like that, meeting his person. it made me scared as hell. Scared of losing you but even more scared I could die without my family knowing who I am and leave you with absolutely no support. I went into protective mode. I started building walls emotionally because I can’t stay away from you physically, it’s too hard. If I had to work so close to you and not touch you or be with you… i didn’t know how I could do it. So I tried to keep it as normal and the same as how its been but that wasn’t right because of two things. The first is that you don’t deserve normal, you deserve everything, all of me and I needed to do anything I could to give that to you and I wasn’t. I also realized that what we have hasn’t been “normal” Sure, I’ve treated you different than any person I’ve ever dated because you’re different for me. I have been pushing you and getting you to demand more of yourself Levi because you are the best person I have ever met and I don’t think you can even fathom what you are capable of but you deserve all of me.

So that is what I am finally offering you. I know you have that firefighter and frankly if he can give you what you need and deserve Levi, I’m happy for you. I just had to do everything I could. For me and for you because you’re it for me and I want it all with you. My parents know everything. When I told them my dad asked me to leave, told me that he no longer had a son and frankly is it a bad thing that I felt relieved? I thought to myself, I have Tara, I have Link, I have all the crazy people in this hospital, and I have you, thats my family. I’m going to be okay even if you chose to be with Travis…

Levi: Nico. Stop talking and look at me.

Nico: okay…..

Levi: I want you to talk to Travis.

Nico: Wait, what?

Levi: I want you to talk to Travis because even before I randomly met your sister at the bar tonight I was going to come over here. I was going to come over here because as soon as he realized I was newly physically single and not anywhere near mentally single he went into friendship mode and lets just say he’s been where you are Nico. He tried to get me to see things from your point of you. He lost his husband and there is so much he wishes he could take back or do sooner. I don’t want to have regrets like that Nico, I want us to have all of each other.

[Nico let out a relieved, tear filled sigh]

Nico: You do?

[Levi smiled so big through his tears]

Levi: Yes. I always have and I always will. Honestly, there is part of me that has been sad because Nico, I’ve given you all of me from the night that I told my mom about you. I have loved you with every ounce of my being fully and openly just hoping you would do the same. Now that part has been replaced and I guess I’m just excited, because if I loved you before, when you weren’t doing that, how is it going to be now that you are? [Levi couldn’t help but smile ear to ear at the idea]

Nico: I’m scared. What if knowing and having all of me makes you love me less?

Levi: That is impossible. All of me was meant to love and be with all of you, Nico Kim.

Nico: I couldn’t agree more, Levi Schmitt. [ with the biggest smile on his face] and I promise this is it for us, a whole new chapter. I promise I’ll communicate with you. I promise I’m going to love you fully for the rest of my life. Okay?

Levi: Of course baby, but those sounded a lot like wedding vows….

Nico: Not yet, but soon… Now, can we look for a place together? Can we move in together and start our lives together? Can we actually talk about how we are going to keep each other honest and accountable? Can we get a pet together? Can we be a family?

Levi: We already are.

After Nico and Levi came together and shared what they could both only describe the best sex of their lives, Nico laid there with Levi in his arms and he couldn’t help but think how wrong he had been. He was always focussed on pushing himself to be better, achieve more, reach further but the thing is, he never really felt accomplished. Now he had everything, he had Levi. And together the sky was the limit because they would always have each other.


End file.
